A story of friendship spanning 44 years
by Robyn Gaillard and Joan McMahon
DIANE: On the day of Joan’s arrival, I was overcome with excitement and joy in anticipation. Her sister phoned about a month earlier with the idea to treat Joan to a visit from Virginia to New York. Her visit would be a birthday surprise.
As I greeted her at the airport, I noticed she was wearing a corsage. The corsage. Forty-four years earlier, in high school, Joan relocated from Kansas to Long Island. As I noticed her in the hallways, she was wearing a poofy dress with a handmade corsage. My peers and I were more of the bell bottom sporting crowd, so needless to say, she stood out. I can recall some classmates whispering and snickering. I reached out to Joan. “Hi, it must be your birthday.” Sweet sixteen. “Yes it is, my aunt made me this corsage.” I admired how she wore the corsage because her aunt made it for her. I would have balked at my aunt and not worn the corsage. I was struck by her strong sense of self. Soon we began spending more time together. At one point, we were college roommates. Later we would be there for each other through life’s twists and turns. And now, decades later, here she is again, proudly stepping out into the crowd wearing her birthday corsage. I reach out and hug her in anticipation of our weekend reunion together, in honor of our friendship and the sweet reward life gives you when you have the courage to see into someone’s heart.
JOAN: My siblings and I do not exchange birthday gifts. This year, however, was different. My 60th birthday was the day before Thanksgiving, and with the whole family together, my sister handed me a box in which I found a pink ribbon corsage with sugar cubes attached via white pipe cleaners. It was a replication of the corsage my godmother (Aunt Joan, after whom I am named) gave me for my 16th birthday! It was a sweet, if puzzling, gesture. I thought that maybe they were making the connection between 16th and 60th? As I put the corsage on, I retold the story that I have told numerous times over the years…
I grew up on Long Island, but my family relocated to Kansas City for three years for my father’s job, and I was there for 8th through 10th grade. This was the late 1960’s, and while the rest of the country was going through tumultuous times, Kansas seemed to be in a time warp. Girls still wore dresses to school, boys were still sporting short haircuts, it was all very clean-cut and wholesome. Moving back to Long Island in the summer of 1969 was a real culture shock. School in Kansas got out earlier than in New York, so we drove by the high school I would be attending and my heart dropped. Throngs of long-haired kids in ratty jeans were out on the lawn smoking cigarettes and hanging out. How would I ever fit in?
By November I still hadn’t made any close friends. I walked to school with a girl from down the street, but we didn’t have much in common. Just before the Thanksgiving break my godmother gave me a pink corsage with sugar cubes that she had made for me for my 16th birthday. It was SO nice of her, and she seemed really thrilled to give it to me! BUT, we wore these types of corsages (with sugar cubes, or bubblegum, or lifesavers) back in the 4th grade… certainly not in high school!! But, I guess I figured I had nothing to lose, and I decided to wear it to school. And in a “go big or go home” move, I wore it pinned to a pink corduroy dress my mother had made me in Kansas, and sported my pink patent-leather shoes with pink grosgrain ribbon. I knew I looked like a nerd, but honestly didn’t care. My godmother made that corsage for me, and I was going to wear it.
After our Unified Studies class a very cute, smiling, short girl with very long hair came up to me and asked me if it was my birthday. I told her it was. While it did take courage for me to wear the corsage to school that day, I admire Diane for the courage she showed in reaching out to someone who was so obviously not hip or cool. With no friends or social connections, I had nothing to lose. But she had a lot to lose! Yet, she was willing to risk her own social standing when she saw someone in need of a friend. She said something like “you just moved here, didn’t you?”, introduced herself, and asked for my address. Over Thanksgiving break I received a birthday card from Diane, and we soon became friends… best friends!
So now my siblings had given me a corsage to remind me of that birthday 44 years ago. But the real gift was a trip to see Diane. We had a wonderful time!! I’m still hoarse from all our talking!! It was very special to end our weekend with a service at the Unity of Albany church, where I felt so welcomed by all of you!
Two brave girls started a lifelong friendship 44 years ago, helped along by my godmother, who gave me my best friend for my 16th birthday!!
We’re still smiling… from ear to ear!!